I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize