I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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