Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
