I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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