At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i now understand why vodka
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
