Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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