oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
