with your own penis?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
