I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
