You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
