my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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