By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
