my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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