someone owes me an orgasm
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
