Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
