She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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