this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
