When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
