My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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