I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
