Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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