I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
someone owes me an orgasm
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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