Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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