making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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