I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
