We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
