Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
