please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
