so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize