i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
