she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
