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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
