The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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