some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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