So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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