its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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