I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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