How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
