At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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