No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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