stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
