Quick, to the slutcave!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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