I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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