In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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