WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
