my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
