His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
