your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
