worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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