Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
