im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude i'm inner monologue high
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize