and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
