Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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