You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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