I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
