why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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