It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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