He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
