You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
