Do you still have your period?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
