I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
