he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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