whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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