...so i touched it.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
