well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
