I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
